Heard the usual cries of dismay from B and G in the garden and wandered out ready to berate B again for some misdemeanour perpetrated against his tiny sister, only to find her trying with one hand to push B off a toy train while effectively preventing him from doing so by clutching a clump of his hair in the other.  Given the three-and-a-half-year age difference I had to suppress a small flicker of pride before moving in to separate them.  Now dawns, however, the realisation that a more considered parental mediation will henceforth be required.  I’m ill-prepared for this so have decided to seek help…

Wanted: King Solomon-esque Conflict Resolution Co-ordinator

  • Employer: EhMummy
  • Posted: 23 May 2010
  • Location: Edinburgh
  • Industry: Social Care
  • Contract: Permanent
  • Hours: 168 per week
  • Salary: KP nuts

Responsible for long-term development projects covering dispute management, imminent clash detection and physical attack abatement innovation.

The successful applicant will have a minimum of five years experience in enhanced fracas-minimisation and a proven track record in the roll-out of antagonisim moderation measures.  Field experience in a live war zone would be advantageous.

Report to: That woman sipping gin beneath a brolly in the back garden.

No time-wasters please.


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